Blessings and Curses
by ArtistHeart
Summary: Spencer Reid is keeping a secret from the team. One night at the BAU he is overtaken by a pain so intense, that his secret becomes as clear as day to the ones he was trying to hide it from. Hurt/Comfort


Blessings and Curses

By ArtistHeart

-I do not own Criminal Minds-

Spencer Reid never liked to bother anybody. He never craved attention. In fact, sometimes he craved to just be left alone. That's the reason why he hadn't told anyone yet.

"Hey pretty boy, what's up with the chamomile? Shouldn't you be on your sixth gallon of caffeine by now?" Morgan smirked as he eyed the teabag hanging out of Reid's coffee mug.

Reid's mouth twisted into a crooked smile. "Caffeine isn't actually measured in gallons. It's measur-"

"Yeah yeah yeah, I get the idea kid. I was just messin' around with you." Morgan placed his own coffee mug on the cluttered table and resumed working.

The team was currently catching up on paperwork. Since they never had enough time to complete it in between cases, Hotch had decided that they would all stay extra late that night to get things done. Everyone had their own opinion on the matter, ranging from 'this is bullshit' to 'at least we're not trying to catch a lunatic right now.'

The team worked late into the night, and straight through into the early morning hours. They sporadically giggled at nonsensical things and threw the occasional piece of popcorn at each other. Reid kept sipping at his tea and thinking about whether or not he should speak up about something he had been keeping hidden.

Around 1:15am, that decision was made for him. The very thing that he had been dreading became a reality. It started as a burning pain in his stomach. He decided to get up and leave before his discomfort became too obvious; he knew what was coming and he didn't want the team to figure it out. Just as he stood up to leave, a sharp pain shot through his abdomen. He hunched over and slammed his left hand onto the table, dropping the papers he was holding in order to steady himself. He squeezed his eyes shut and clenched his stomach tightly with his right hand.

Morgan quickly stood up, and everyone else's head turned. "Reid are you okay? What's wrong?" He placed a hand on his friend's back and flinched as Reid let out a moan of pain and hunched over even more. "Come on kid sit down..." Morgan helped Reid back into his chair, lowering him down slowly.

JJ and Garcia moved in closer and Hotch came to stand next to Morgan, concern resting heavily on his face. Reid clenched his teeth and shot a heavy breath out. "There's something I haven't told you." His voice was tense and full of pain. Before he could finish his explanation an even heavier shock of pain coursed through his stomach, causing him to cry out. He folded completely in on himself, grasping his abdomen with both hands now.

"We need to get him to the hospital." Hotch said, grabbing his keys and moving closer to Reid.

"No!" Reid said through clenched teeth. "It won't help, I have medication." He breathed in and out heavily a few times, grunting in pain as another stabbing sensation came upon him.

"Wait so this has happened before? I don't understand!" JJ asked, her worry taking over.

"I have a chronic-aghhhh-" he squeezed his eyes shut tightly. "Chronic stomach condition. I have to ride it out."

The team looked around at each other. "Reid, how did we not know about this?" Morgan asked, his hand still on his friend's back.

He took a minute to answer, recovering from the most recent shooting pain. Breathlessly, he explained. "Only happens at night. I never had a reason to tell anyone."

"We'll argue about this later, but right now we need to take care of him." Garcia inserted herself aggressively into the conversation.

Reid let out a much louder cry than he had the last few times and he moved his head roughly to rest on the edge of the desk in front of him. Morgan knelt down beside him and moved the hair away from his face.

"Alright kid...alright. What can I do?" Reid didn't answer. He let out a sob as tears began to stream down his face. He cried out again as yet another wave of stabbing pain cascaded through his body.

"Pillow." He said, barely audible, between gulps of air.

JJ could tell Morgan didn't hear him. She tore her eyes away from her suffering friend and looked at Morgan, studying the immense panic on his face. "Morgan, he wants a pillow."

Morgan nodded and rushed away to find one. JJ rubbed her trembling hand up and down Spencer's back and talked softly to him. Hotch paced anxiously, not entirely convinced that Reid didn't need medical attention at this point. He couldn't stand to see him in so much pain. Garcia sat next to JJ, basically praying that Reid would be relieved of his anguish.

Morgan returned with the pillow and handed it to his friend. "Here you go kid."

Reid grabbed it, buried his face into it, and let out a blood curdling scream. Of course, it was mostly muffled by the pillow, but the pain behind it was unmistakable. Morgan stood next to him dumbfounded. Tears began to roll down Garcia's face. Hotch just stopped breathing for a second. All the color drained from JJ's face.

Another scream.

JJ wrapped her arms around Reid's shaking body. She could feel his tension ease for just a millisecond, but it was enough for her to know that her presence was needed and wanted.

"Spence, you're okay." JJ sat back in her chair and continued to rub her hand up and down his back. He sobbed into the pillow. His shoulders trembled. "Shhhhh...I'm right here Spence. It will be over soon." She had no idea if she was right, but she hoped she was.

After another 15 minutes of Reid's heart-wrenching screams, he finally unburied his face from the pillow and rested his cheek on it. JJ smoothed the hair away from his face and tucked it behind his ear, and then resumed rubbing his back. She looked up at Morgan.

Morgan took her expression to mean 'I don't know what to do now' and kneeled down next to Reid. "Hey pretty boy.." he put a soft hand on Reid's arm. "Want me to take you home?"

Reid mumbled something incoherent. When nobody responded he decided to repeat himself. "Don't wanna move. Just lay down..."

"Okay kid, I'm gonna bring you to Hotch's office so you can sleep on the couch alright?" Morgan said softly.

"Mhmmm." Reid nodded weakly, and his eyes fluttered and closed.

"Alright, here we go." Morgan put Reid's left arm around his neck and wrapped his right arm tightly around his friend's body. JJ helped Morgan get Reid into a standing position. They paused as Reid clenched his stomach and winced. His eyes were swollen and his nose was red. Dried tears left resting streak marks on his flushed cheeks. He looked awful.

"You're okay Spence. Nice and easy." JJ encouraged him as they took their first steps.

They slowly began to lead him to Hotch's office. They walked carefully, noticing every time he tensed up in pain. Reid stopped walking at one point and blew air out through pursed lips, as if he had been holding onto it.

Morgan looked at his friend's face, concerned. "You're alright Reid. We're almost there."

They finally made it to the office and lowered their friend carefully onto the couch. Once he was laying down, Morgan pulled his shoes off. JJ removed his tie and unbuttoned the first few buttons of his shirt. She brushed the hair away from his eyes and held her hand on his head for a small moment. "Spence, try and get some rest okay?" He didn't respond. He was already drifting out of consciousness. Morgan found a blanket and draped it over his friend's long body.

He looked at JJ. "You think he'll be okay?"

She answered, "yeah I'm gonna sit with him for a little bit."

CMCMCM

After about 45 minutes, JJ returned to the group. They were still plugging away at the paperwork.

Hotch broke the silence. "I would have sent everyone home a few hours ago, but with what happened I think we need to stay here and support Reid. You can find a couch to sleep on if you need to."

Garcia smirked, "well we're here already so we might as well keep doing paperwork. It's not gonna go away on its own."

Around 6:15am, the team had broken down and fallen asleep. Morgan, JJ, and Garcia were face down on the desks (presumably drooling on the almost-finished paperwork). Hotch went to his office where Reid was and had fallen asleep in his desk chair, which was probably more comfortable than the couch was.

Reid woke up, a bit confused about where he was. Once he got his bearings, he slowly got up off the couch and crept out of the office. He didn't want to wake Hotch up. He splashed water on his face from the bathroom sink. He ran it through his hair to try and make it look somewhat presentable. He wondered if the team was going to treat him differently after what had happened the night before.

He walked into the conference room to find that they were all awake. They looked worse than he did, making coffee with bags under their eyes and everything. Almost simultaneously, everyone paused - coffee cups in hand - and looked in Reid's direction as he walked in. The sight was almost comical. Morgan opened his mouth to speak since nobody else was saying anything. "Morning sleeping beauty."

JJ smiled, a hint of curiosity and sympathy in her expression. "How are you feeling?"

Spencer gave his classic eyebrow raise and shoulder shrug. "I'm fine."

Morgan moved a little closer to him. "You know Hotch isn't gonna have you working today. How about I take you home?"

"I said I'm fine Morgan." Reid said a little more factually.

"Are you sure Spence? Nobody expects you to be fine right now. You had a bad night." JJ said in a persuasive voice.

Reid's expression changed. The team knew it as his 'I need to say something but I don't know how to say it' look. They waited in silence as he paused. He buried his hands in his pockets and looked down at his feet.

"I'm as fine as I am when I come in every morning." Another pause. "This happens every night."

"Oh my god..." JJ couldn't find any other words.

"Reid, why didn't you ever tell us?" Morgan asked.

"Because I didn't want you to worry about me." Reid looked away.

"Well of course we would worry about you...to go through that hell every night and still come to work in the morning, that's courage and strength kid. More than most people have." Morgan answered.

"It's been hard to keep it a secret. I wake up exhausted every morning and worry so much before I go to sleep that usually it's hard for me to get any rest. But you guys are so supportive..." he paused, shy. "You're the family I've never had. I think that's what keeps me going." His voice was quiet and timid at the end. It was extremely hard to admit that. He was never open about his emotions or feelings. He usually separated them from his work because that is the only way that he could ever truly focus. But this moment had called for some honesty. The team had just seen him at his darkest hour, after all.

Spencer looked at Morgan, JJ, and Garcia. He was so thankful for them. He was thankful that no matter what he went through, no matter how much pain he had to endure, he always had them to keep him going. He chuckled to himself because they all looked worse than he did this morning. Three hours of sleep didn't look as good on them as it did on him.

JJ handed Reid a cup of coffee. They all settled down began sipping at the liquid gold in their cups. Reid looked around. "I think it's highly ironic that Hotch was the one who made us stay overnight to do paperwork and he is the one still dead asleep in his office."

They all shared a good laugh, teasing Hotch behind his back until he walked in suddenly and gave them the death glare. Even after the worst of nights, they were all able to laugh. That was a beautiful thing.

CMCMCM

Within the next few months, luckily, the doctors were able to find a better prescription for Reid that relieved about 90% of the pain on most nights. There would still be a few evenings/early mornings where it was as bad as it had been at the BAU that evening. On the bad nights Morgan had convinced Reid to call him. Right when he got the call he would head directly over to Reid's place and help him through the pain. Sometimes, Reid would show up on JJ's doorstep when Morgan was away or had just been with him in the past week, and she would sit with him on the couch until the pain passed. He was always welcome to spend the remainder of the night in her living room and carpool with her to work the next morning.

Needless to say, Reid had amazing friends who would do absolutely anything for him. He took the blessings and the curses as they came.

How could he complain when he had so much to be thankful for?

The end.

-Thank you friends for reading my stories. The amount of feedback I have gotten on my past two CM fanfics has given me so much life as a writer. Thank you for your support and love. Please leave me a review. I need to hear your feedback. Also, give me prompts of what you would like to see me write about in the future. It doesn't have to be Reid-centered. It doesn't even have to be CM centered. Just ask and I'll see what I can do. Love you all. Love, ArtistHeart-


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